Instead, wait about three hours to text or call him back or 24 hours to email. But I told him that I know he has serious commitment issues and asked him to resolve them. Since women are quite emotional beings, let's first talk about what your ex is feeling during no contact. I didnt reply. Im hangibg in there . Show him you have moved on (but you think of him fondly), but also show him that youre not going to chase him anymore because you have a full life. If you think I slacked off when writing this then just let me know in the comments and I will be sure to correct the problems that you see. Also, dont attack any potential woman you see or hear that he is flirting with. Went on a date, talked, but not about relationship. Did he even care?. They think and hope that unfriending without blocking means that their ex still has feelings for them and that their ex . So I guess if Chris is the Ex Recovery Whisperer, then that makes me the Ex Recovery Listener! Slowly you are building value in his eyes. I recently had my girlfriend break up with me and I dont know where to go from here. The whole situations feels so helpless at this point :((. Things got hectic with my daughter, her fiance and child moving in with us with my 2 sons who also live in my home. That brings me to my next point. But I see this backfire a lot. What does it mean if your ex boyfriend doesnt contact you during the no contact period? And also look into different living situations so you are not living together long term while broken up. He said because we arent able to date now we should just leave it and he wishes hed met me after all this was over so we had a proper shot at the relationship. We are talking about an old flame. Said he didnt want to live with me or marry me ever. Now he is abroad. I feel like I live inside your broken hearts. I got really drunk and called him late that mjght after texting all night and said some mean things . He can be upset he ended the relationship and now he is feeling the loss of you! He said we can just be friends and shoot the sh*t, right.? So last year I call it off. Lets get some perspective! As significantly more time goes by after a break up, the odds of the couple rekindling their passion is reduced. Going no contact is particularly useful after a relationship's breakup, especially if you were the one who was dumped or betrayed. You can go biking, hiking, walks in the park. I asked if I could ever win her love back and she said she had to walk away for her own good. But it empowers you to know why and to know that he is missing you as much or more. He wishes he was by my side but cant be . Its been 4 days since then. If events led to the two of your breaking off a serious relationship, then no amount of rushing around to put it back together again will fix the problem. Im so confused because I dont want to lose her. I got drunk after a week of NC I sent him a song via Snapchat he opened it . Remember, you are working to become the best version of yourself. Thats why you need to do no contact. I think you would benefit if you had an ex recovery plan to follow as a blueprint, not just for optimizing your chances, but also to help you with your own healing needs and recovery activities. He is being ignored. Thank you. You should do what you fear! We still talk almost everyday and he says he still considers me his best friend. We cannot always see down the road. I find them encouraging and insightful. Sometimes it really pays to be the first one making the move on your ex because not only can you control things a little bit better it is always kind of nice when a guy feels wanted. After that, I ended up feeling like being friends wasnt working for me and I wanted to fix things. Thank you Sincerely. Consider yourself fortunate. Hi Brie, it really is your call if you want to move on or not. Yes, it can be heart breaking when someone you thought you could trust and who you loved chooses another. Or lets say he showed signs that he liked her even before he broke up with you?, What if you come to believe that he is really serious about this other girl and has just moved on to her?. Assume that you are out there trying to become that ungettable girl. I told him that I felt hurt and I did not wanted to make things worse between us, so when ready I would have kept in touch. So my dad called him and talked to him and he said So based on that, 21, 30, or even 45 days of No Contact is usually too soon a period for him to move on. Now, he might try to make you think that he has, but it is no easy thing for him to simply tuck away all of the emotional connections he has built with you. Hes stubborn and Im really proud. This is particularly true if the two of you were getting along for a good part of the relationship. His love for me was so strong . It was a Friday night he was going hunting in the morning . I said sorry to ignore her one day I talked to her n said, he lied to me for others, he left me, I cnt talk you to I am sorry. So I told him not to contact me unless he resolves those issues, he reluctantly agreed. Is he missing me? Speaking from personal experience I can tell you that any time a girl I really like ignores me it bugs me on a deep level. I think too many women are conditioned by society to think that making the first move on a guy is wrong. Usually he would hv get angry on him as my two much skin is showing in that pic. I said then u were you being nice all these days he says it was cause if your mother she home now. What did you do then? Essentially what I am going to be doing here is bridging the gap between you and your ex boyfriend. Throughout that time, after graduating, we had our ups and downs. How Does The Dumper Feel After A Month Of No Contact? What if he gets angry because Im having fun?. Maybe is is simply afraid to reach out. Question What if he comes to your house during no contact? So do you, at times, suffer from a Moonstruck Mantra around this whole topic of getting your ex boyfriend back? We have a fight he blamed me, saying he is going through a difficult time n I am focusing on this, for which he has said sorry, I torture him, I dnt trust him, n I think bad about him.. Hes going to forget you: Out of sight, out of mind, You might ask, Cant I just continue to talk to him and just not talk to him about the relationship, so that I can remind him of the good times and not risk losing him?. Does the very thought of entering into a No Contact Period with your ex boyfriend shake you at your very core? What happens if youre not a big social media user? Make positive references about him in social media like, my ex is a really great guy and its a shame we were not able to work thru things. In fact, I recently filmed a video about just that. You can go out alone and do soul searching. Hes gone abroad so I am implementing the no contact for the week hes away. Example . Hours of phone call, text. What does it mean and what should you do? Today I texted him to check (office) as I didnt wanted him to miss the project enquiry. I want YOU to take the first step and contact your ex boyfriend via a text message. He doesnt want her back . And then after a week or two, he gets angry because you keep ignoring his texts of asking how are you. If he flips out because of a group picture or something similar, then he needs to learn to chill out. N few days later he called off the friendship too, he said now there is no friendship between us, at this point I lost it, n shouted back, what m I to you? Anything I should be doing? In other words, in that massive guide I actually recommend that you are the first one to make contact with your ex after the no contact period. After a few months, again we were having sex, fights, promises, work chat, happy moments. That would be ridiculous, right. Now, if he says he wants nothing to do with you after the No Contact Period is over, dont be in such a hurry to believe him or hang on every word. Remember, youre not doing anything bad. Go to my home page and tap into the tools and program resources. He may discover what he actually was experiencing before when he said he was "tired of you," was just the normal up and down of relationship. Well, according to studies, it generally takes about 66 days to make or break a habit or create a new routine. I tried to reconcile with no avail. It could be that they want to keep tabs on you, or they're hoping to get back together with you one day. Sometimes, less is more! I said I all send you details, n we cut the call. I mean hes pissed because I look like I just dont care after all!. When youre having fun and ignoring him right after the breakup, thats called moving on. Later I posted a pic of mine to which he respond, looking cute n happy, good stay happy, day after that, I posted a pic with a dog, he reacted, did you buy this dog. As always, remember our mantra: Let him be. We were not at full plus capacity and we began bickering with each other. You were so good at giving me chances, I was free to do anything and everything. I didnt repied. Dont send anything and dont reply to anything unless it is super important such as an immediate bill for example. He wants to get with other girls and whats to keep options open But its weird he never said he wanted to break up . Your ex might have unfriended you on social media, but there could be a range of reasons why they haven't blocked you. And then make new friends with your new classmates or work buddies and go out! Im sorry, I treated you bad, can we talk ! So, when he gets angry during no contact, what do you do? My point is that you never know when he could contact you. Well, like I explained above. Remember Chris teachings. So he wonders why you suddenly changed with him. However, his pride is telling him not to do it. He been calling and shouting for three days, I been responding but he is increasinngly rude. He did not tell me how he felt and would bottle it up until he couldnt take it anymore and broke up with me. He also has a lot going on in his life right now, so I understand, but I was always there for him through it all so It hurt when he said he didnt want to be in relationship at all. I then sent another one and he still hasnt Dont allow him to put the blame on you. . And if you have been together for a long time, again, I think it is entirely likely that you are letting your imagination run. He made frequent, offensive references to my stinginess (having essentially lived off me for over 6 months), became aloof, coming at late hours at night. Lets explore some of the notions we get that are linked to implementing the No Contact Rule. Let me explain. And worst, this kind of thinking can cause you to act out on what you are thinking. If he levels such an accusation, my reaction would be, really? Ok once in anger he said he used me all these years. Heck, I know many of you are concerned that the No Contact Rule may not even work for you. One of the most overlooked factors when it comes to the no contact rule is how the actual breakup will affect your boyfriend. At lome point he asked me to co-sign for him at the bank. If you are still in your no contact period, then continue with it. And getting upset over this. So what can you do to keep that relationship spark alive? What about when you were in high school and you really liked a boy who wouldnt give you the time of day? All these things will affect your emotions and your thoughts. My ex boyfriend broke up with me two months after we moved in together after an argument. I said u r not my friend either, he said I dont know about friendship but is remaining are still there, I said nothing is left, u made it clear to me. You see, most friends with benefits situations evolve out of immaturity or a persons lack of desire to commit. I just feel like it gives people false hope to say Dont worry! Often times it is doing the things that scare us most that yield the greatest results. Think about what you have to gain. So, what is no contacts true purpose? And among the lessons learned, you are told you need to carefully consider the No Contact Rule. We lived together and got along very well. I am glad you are finding some peace. Ok days passes. Hello, what you are up to. Never say never, particularly when it comes to relationships. It is good to know what kind of thoughts might later be racing through your mind. But then after a while, you realize its not working from your end. It is a well known fact that I have talked to over 24,000 women through this site and let me tell you that when you talk to that many people you start to learn a thing or two. You have a sign that he or she thinks it's possible to get along and that staying unfriended feels morally wrong. What do I do ? Hi, are in touch with her? Im at my NC mark. Here I am again.. I didnt do anything. I didnt respond. No, no, no! We fought a lot, broke up several times but we knew how much we love each other so git back each time. Out camera so he never actually had one he just said it out of anger but I think its a lie since hes an electrician . So that means you have to be active in social media. If he does, you wont be reciprocating. Am I doing no contact correctly?? Let him have his fun. Sometimes when a girl messages me first I think to myself. Seriously, when you sit back at the end of the day having completed a no contact rule what is it that you are aiming to have accomplished? Ok, he was there on video, while my mother was getting operate. What else have I done now? Your email address will not be published. We had been seeing each other since the end of last year and all was going great until Corona hit. He left for 3 days, then returned to make things better. His mother called many times. However, if he doesnt contact you it is entirely possible that he still misses you but he is just too stubborn to reach out (which I will talk to you about in a little bit.). So lets take stock of what it might mean if your ex responds this way. Chris gives you lots of examples in his books and guides. I remember one time where there was someone I really wanted to talk to. Also Im pretty sure he has slept with someone else during this time. Do you think theres a way back for us? So, even if you are not right in front of him, remember, you will often be on his mind. No stalking. If he chose to pursue a rebound relationship, thats a reflection of his character. If he's tired of being with you, then doing no contact is your way of respecting his decision. It turns out there are quite a few of these Moonstruck Mantras that can get inside your head. Lets say you already explained to him that you need space and No Contact is underway. He said u want gap, ok I will give u gap, again him calling me, me picking up, talking normal n at some one she gets angry ( he is going through very bad phase but that first allow him to say all this n do all this, u r in a bad phase I am with you, just stopped fuckingg ur sister or if u cant, stopped pretending in front of. Rebounds dont last! because they absolutely can. He texted rarely for 2-3 times and that also he would say that he wanted to have sex with me. He always leaves me, but do sex when I am in front, he calls me his best friend, for relationship his explanation is( he loves me but we dnt hv future cause of different religions), thats why he broke up with me. I love what I do. For example, I remember when I was younger and a girl I was falling for wouldnt respond to my texts I logged on to Facebook and looked at her profile to see if she was online. Then two weeks after he found out he came back and everything went back to normal .we were us again for the most part. I know that was an incredibly weird picture for me to paint right now but the point I am trying to make here is that your ex boyfriend knows that deep down HIS silence will hurt you and its his only way of getting back at you without actually seeming crazy. You found us! One night we babysat my girls (I have 3), and I guess they acted up. We spoke the following Tuesday for an hour. Neither of us have tried to contact each other since we ended it. If he is really undecided, it can help make him see that youre mature enough to handle the break up and then if you implemented the No Contact Rule immediately, it could help with making him miss you and just maybe he will rethink his decision. He was probably expecting to hear from you. Its not that we dont care. We were trying for a baby and had been together years. N nothing else. And that is where you will plant your seeds of attraction. What if HE was the one that broke up with you? I got a positive reply saying hes really missed talking over the last few days and would really like to talk soon. Him: damn I really fucked up. Such is our predicament when we are pulled away from our boyfriend. Do you continue to explain why youre ignoring him? If your guy still avoids you after no contact, that may mean your ex has moved on emotionally. This website has a lot of information about the no contact rule since it is an essential stepping stone to getting your ex boyfriend back. Many dumpees want to know why their ex unfriended them but didn't block them. I use the word falling prey, because the old flame phrase originated because something went wrong.things flamed out. At this I had a bad feeling that he wants to use me to transition so I asked him for space , decided to break up. However, the no contact rule also uses something else as equally powerful as silence to its advantage, the power of ignoring. Go visit my home page to learn more about the tools and resources I make available. Allow your ex time to process things and avoid inserting any pressure into the situation. Please help! While your expectations have been managed your only human and you cant help but wonder what is going on in his mind. I have found this to be a frequent concern with many women and the very thought of it can dig right into your soul. Utilizing No Contact seldom leads to your guy moving on faster. Welcome to the 21st century where everything and everyone is online! When I wanted to work things out he tried but then later retracted and said that the distance wouldnt work out for us since he had moved back to California and I stayed in Oregon. Then he stopped watching any of my Snapchat stories . At this point, I told him I wasnt ready to hang out. I got myself free. Hey Bebee, you are not meant to warn your ex that you need space. Its been almost 90 days since we talked and Im really wondering if he has moved on, he said he left because I betrayed him by saying I was friends with someone else he clearly holded such a grudge to and I have no idea if hes moved on or not, a few days ago that one person he holded such a grudge to tried to talk to him and he got really mad for a few hours, does this mean he hasnt moved on? You see, every day when I wake up I do one of two things. First, relax. Why Are My Exs Friends Contacting Me And Being So Nice To Me? But hey, I was young and I didnt know how to handle my emotions. The longer and closer the relationship, the harder it is for the love connection to be completely lost. I guess the main point I am trying to make here is that if you manage your expectations you will be much better off. An ex can rush right back into the fire. We both spent a very good time together. Lets just hang out. Ok, yes we do suggest making jealousy moves, but we dont want you to make it too obvious or forward. Post your availability status on Facebook. Do I continue no contact for 45 days? Your email address will not be published. We shared mutual understanding very well. N later he texted me, saying ur mom is ill, ur grandpa is ill, why didnt to told me? You knowtit for tat. Hi, Fast forward to now, we are both 22 and very much involved in our adult life. However, if he does end up biting the bullet and contacting you in that 21-30 day window that means there is a serious internal battle going on within him. Because it is these same women who come back with their tail between their legs when their ex boyfriend doesnt contact them at all saying that: I tried this and it didnt work.. What do I do now??????. So, I am worried that by not contacting him, he wont tell me how he feels or admit it and try and move on, thinking that thats what I am doing and that I do not want to get back together. When you dont he may feel pushed away. So lets say that after all of your efforts, nothing happens. But otherwise, I hope hed appreciate my need for space. So, let him work through his own internalizing and stay in no contact. Keep yourself productive and keep being beautiful and being active in social media. This scenario is similar to the first situation in that he may be falling prey to the Grass is greener syndrome. In fact, with some guys, thoughts of you may become a little obsessive. The day after the breakup I sent him a really long message saying it would be the last time I ever text him. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. He may have broke it off due to another girl he may have met . Ive been reading so many articles . Required fields are marked *. This is a question I get all the time. It became more fight then friends with us. Though, around 9 months together we broke up for 3 weeks because he thought I listened to too many people about our relationship and then we stopped talking to those friends when we got back together. U just throws me out whenever u want, end things whenever u want, u decided all this on ur own n just declares the decision on me. And we are not going to avoid discussing some of these problems. There are all kinds of reasons why a guy can think like this. I want you to think about something for a moment. Remember, the no contact rule is only the first step of the entire ex boyfriend recovery process. Too often do I run into someone who completely misunderstands the purpose of the no contact rule (again read this article for a refresher.). Ok I was fine, being friend working together (both of us could co- founders of a startup) in between 4 years, he left me for a girl, she left him he wanted me back, wanted to marry me, realised he loves me, few months later, he had to end it here, cause nothing can happen hmit is equally oainfull for him, but when I am in front of him, he hugs me, kisses me, fucks me, takes care of me. after on 1 March. You can still love someone but still know that they are not a good person to be in a relationship with, you are hurt by what has happened and that takes time to get over and then when you move past the hurt you are left with the loving feelings you had for that person. The next day he came over we argued about it then got over it he stayed the next two days . I havent messaged him for over 5 weeks. Then I will send them to you, I didnt respond, so he called. And if he replies in an ugly matter, dont reply. Regardless if your children are the most behaved on the planet or the naughtiest kids around, it is not their fault how he feels when he is around them. It will help your personal development. Lets say that you decide that you want to embark on the 30 day no contact period. I initiated the NC period and in 15 days he was curious to know if Ive moved on. So, that means dont be too forward in making a move so that he wont go into a protective mode with the rebound girl. As I mentioned earlier, you cant control him. I said that out of anger and sadness but now idk if it was the right thing to do. You may be wondering why I'm telling you to delay your response to your ex after no contact. Check out this article: The Grass is Greener Syndrome for Ex boyfriends to understand more about the Grass is greener case. I feel like I just ex unfriended me during no contact like it gives people false hope to say dont!! Being so nice to me not working from your end scenario is to! To pursue a rebound relationship, thats called moving on faster concerned that the no contact seldom to! May become a little obsessive are my Exs friends Contacting me and I guess main! Really drunk and called him late that mjght after texting all night said... The lessons learned, you are not going to be doing here is bridging the between. Of examples in his mind that pic has moved on emotionally never, particularly when it comes relationships! With it could contact you during the no contact period in together after an argument commitment and! Thats a reflection of his character you were in high school and you cant control him not right in of! 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